Defeated.

I haven't been home sick since I got here, but I feel like I'm on home sick overload tonight.

I wish it was 12:12AM right now instead of 3:12AM. I'm kicking myself because I'm still awake and I know I'll be tired at work tomorrow just like I was yesterday for sleeping late the night before. I burned the last Chicken Noodle Soup and we're almost out of rice because I fell asleep while I was cooking. It shouldn't be a big deal, at least I didn't set off the smoke detector or anything but I don't know. I'm just so tired and achy and we don't have time to get more soup until next week. I hope we get my parent's package today.

The apartment smells like burning and I'm so sad.

I miss the feeling of the carpet in my room between my toes. I miss the fluffyness of my own bed. I miss my furbabies so much. I miss my car. I miss being able to go to Target whenever I wanted (I don't even know where Target is here and yes it's causing a bit of an anxiety problem). I miss SunValley Mall. I miss going to UoP every Monday night. I miss routine. I miss my parents. 

I love it here, but tonight I just really really miss home.

Living on my own is so hard. I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would, makes me realize how spoiled I was at home. Everything so much harder without a car and by yourself.

Husband had a bowl or Ramen waiting for me on the bed when I got out of the shower. But I'm too sad to eat. At least our hot water is back on. 

I have another 6AM shift this weekend and I'm really not looking forward to it. It takes me an hour to get home from work and I have to get up 3 hours before my shift to make it there on time because the bus doesn't run that early so I have to take a shuttle. Last weekend I only got 2 hours of sleep. This isn't fair. I'm not like everyone else with a damn car. Do they put that into consideration?

I need to sleep. Somehow.